dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
