I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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