"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
