I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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