Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
