there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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