So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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