Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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