Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
