When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
