Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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