I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
