4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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