Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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