Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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