I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
