I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
