I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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