Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
