haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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