i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
