We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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