Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
