you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I need a beard to bite.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize