I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wish you could order shots online.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
