i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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