The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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