no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
