My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
