Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
