Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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