I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
