Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
