So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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