Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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