I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
