Small penises have feelings too.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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