i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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