Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
