It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
