I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
