my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
