I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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