K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
