Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
should my penis look like a turkey
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
