you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
