hotel room ftw
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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