We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
420 ftw
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
