I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
