they need to just BURY HIM!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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