can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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