1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
