And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
