did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
