How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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