Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
