I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
it's like iHOP with fire
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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