I seem to have left my pride at pride
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
did i walk over a car last night?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
