Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
