Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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